Dearest Citizens of Camelot, Hear ye! Hear Ye! I'm here to announce the launch of Midgard Times, perhaps the first newspaper in Midgard and certainly the silliest. Midgard Times is a parody newspaper based on the life, culture and events of everyone's favorite Norse realm in Dark Age of Camelot, featuring keen insights into such timely issues as what happens when Thor runs out of hammers, and where the horses actually go when you ride into town. It's humor even a troll can understand! A few of the latest headlines: MISERABLE ZOMBIES DEMAND MORE MISERABLE CONDITIONS Zombie union claims that while conditions are bad in Midgard, they could clearly be much worse -- says they won't feast on brains of the living until demands are met. TROLL ACCIDENTALLY BETS SELF IN CARD GAME Playing a high-stakes card game for the first time late last night, Veldon troll Korblook lost himself in the card game after he accidentally added himself to the pot when raising a bet. GJALPINULVA, LEGION TO HOLD GRUDGE MATCH TO DETERMINE "WHO'S THE BADDEST" "A dragon and a demon -- the whole house will be screamin'!" says promoter Djonn Kingg of the bout intended to settle the epic score. NJESSI RIDES ARE HOTTEST NEW ATTRACTION IN GALPLEN Swimming back and forth in the fog-covered lake just west of Galplen, sticking her head up out of the water to greet tourists and amaze onlookers, Njessi the sea creature has become the hottest new attraction in this Myrkwood outpost. That's just a sampling -- check out the rest at http://www.midgardtimes.com! If you would be willing to make mention of it in your fine publication, we would be most appreciative. Thanks, and good day! Sincerely, Paul Ferguson Editor/Publisher, Midgard Times