Open Letter to the Fast Food GuysFollow

Dear Marketing Folks in Fast Food,

Perhaps earlier, but especially noticable for the past several years, you have been slipping bits of propaganda onto my drink cups, bags, fry boxes, etc. These are invariably attempts to convince me that my fast food choice was the right one which is a little odd since I didn't see the blurb until after I gave the drive-thru girl my money and received my food. Anyway...

You are not cool. You are not hip. Consequently, buying your food did not make me cool and hip. I am not "lovin' it". I did not "have it my way". I ordered off a board by number and, to be honest, I don't even know what comes standard on a Whopper. It could be old dish sponges for all I'm aware. All I do know is that, if "my way" requires cheese, you ding me an extra $7.25 for a generic American single. Taco Bell? Arby's? Buying from you was not my attempt to stick it to the Burger-Sellin' Man. The Burger-Sellin' Man gets my business nine times out of ten. You were a diversion, not a countercultural statement.

That said, today I found this in my Wendy's bag:
What. The. Fu[Cyan][/Cyan]ck?

Nothing's more "hip" than a religious observation! And if you gotta sacrifice for your faith, sacrifice in style with delicious taste!

I'm not sure what that second to last sentence means. I guess I can have a sirloin so long as it "Tastes right" 'cause then I'm not breaking my Lenten fast. I imagine the spirit of Dave Thomas was sent from above to inform them of that.

I don't feel spiritually insulted so much as just intellectually insulted. Oh, and Wendy's fish sandwich tastes like ***.

Edited, Mon Mar 13 13:50:00 2006 by Jophiel

You know you're jaded when you're not even inspired by a rousing speech in a Wendy's bag. You really are dead inside Jophiel.

Edited, Mon Mar 13 13:38:39 2006 by allenjj

There's several things dead inside Jophiel: the cow I just ate, the microbes unlucky enough not to be acid resistant, my liver, etc.

I think I was just taken-aback that someone thought they should extended the omnipresent "our burgers made you a rebel" verbage to a religious observance. It's not even something you "celebrate", it's just a way of reflecting on your faith via self-sacrifice. Trying to make it cool isn't really... sacraligious or anything. Just really tacky.

They've been going downhill since Dave left.

How're they doing with the observant Catholic teen market?

Aside from regional cult favorites such as White Castle, has any mega-corp fast food joint ever been trendy? "Hey, you're eating Wendy's? WICKED!!"

The only fast food place I've ever seen keep a cold deli sandwich on the menu for over eight months is Arby's. And they've all tried. Well, maybe not Taco Bell.

Fried chicken: Whole chicken parts (bone-in chicken), battered and fried

Chicken Fried Steak: Round steak....tenderized, battered and fried

Chicken Fried Chicken: It's kind of like a chicken fried steak....but it's usually a boneless, skinless chicken breast.....battered and fried. I'm pretty sure it gets its name from the term "chicken fried steak". Both dishes are usually served with country gravy (a very thick milk based gravy) and mashed potatoes.

Edited, Mon Mar 13 15:09:10 2006 by senorcoconut

Has anyone seen my finger?

as long as they stick with donating to adoption I will support them over McDs anyday.

As for the marketing, I had a discusion about this on another forum but in regards to Macro beer producing companies. Basically they rely on marketing for you to purchase their products. Gone our the "new" sandwiches and new chains. We see what is on our menu and its basically the same. The key is to grab your attention at the right time. Ads on the radio catch a lot of people during lunch breaks as does print ads in the paper. On the product you purchase, its to remind you of how quality a product you are going to indulge in. How you are in the "club" and you are doing the right thing. Maybe it just helps the company feel better about itself?

Every product has some sort of gratification comment on it. Be it 45% less fat or American Brewed, cold filtered, your way, etc. makes you feel good about what you just spent your money on.

I heard that Wendy's chili is basically a cesspool of dropped hamburger patties, bits of meat and grease scraped off the grill, and whatever else might be lying around. However, it seems to taste ok on my Taco Salad.

Sidenote: Based on what I've heard, I wouldn't recommend eating Long John Silvers' cole slaw.

Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese....I'd hit it.




yo

Don't forget Microsoft Word.

You could put a horse **** necklace in a rap video, market it and make a fortune.

Reminds me of the Chappelle skit when Blacks recieved retributions. "Niggas be buying everything up!"