The great “use this phrase IRL and win!” game!Follow

Is this going to work? I don’t know. I do know it’s never been done here before, so at least it’s something completely different! We’ll see how it goes.

The Rules:
1. Each phrase is worth either 3 or 5 points, depending on length and content.
2. Combining more than one phrase in a single conversation without getting yourself kicked in the junk by other people present in the conversation is worth an additional 5 points.
3. You must describe here how you used a phrase to claim points.
4. Other readers of the thread my call ******** on your descriptions if they are lame, and in such case you may not receive points.
5. Once a phrase is used, it cannot be used by another person. Ever!
6. Minor alterations of a phrase are acceptable, but will result in a 1 point deduction
7. The person with the most points at the end wins
8. Post your own phrases if you like

Items in grey have been used already and cannot be used by anyone else.

Ok, Here goes:

1. “That is some sexy crawdad **** there” 5 points to allenjj
2. “ like a monkey implosion” 3 points to Frakkor
3. “@#$%ing clown ****’s” 3 points to TheBlix
4. “but if we wait long enough, the magic pie tin will return!” 5 points to Thumbelyna
5. “Aardvaark bladders” 3 points
6. “xorm the troll flipper” 5 points to Codyy
7. “I enjoy eating roasted human babies in lime sauce on a toasted sesamie seed bun” 5 points
8. “And that’s when the truck full of live chickens exploded” 5 points to Jawbox
9. “Oh crap, has anyone seen my prosthetic kneecap?” 5 points
10. “No good, nickle picking neo-hippies” 5 points
11. “Hemp Bidet” 3 points
12. “Giant pink plastic lobster” 3 points to Rimesume
13. “Nano Squeegee” 3 points
14. “Articulated Yak bombs” 5 points
15. “This game sucks, I quit” 3 points to Thumbelyna
16. “Ham Scanner” 3 points to iamtheovermind
17. “Ich bin ein glorpblorger” 5 points
18. “Stapler induced hernia” 5 points to AngstyCoder
19. “Egyptian pants” 3 points
20. “Cat bacon” 3 points to CrescentFresh
21. “Then I woke up tied to a large tractor” 5 points
22. “My very own Taikonaut” 3 points
23. “colder than a penguin's ************************** 5 points to NixNot
24. “unbreakable chicken beak” 5 points
25. “Imperial rice burner” 3 points
[Darkgray]26. “FFXI genius” 3 points To Elderon
27. “mass scooter carnage” 5 points
28. “Reticulating Phosphate” 3 points
29. “It wasn’t that bad, though the lemur was fairly disturbing” 5 points
30. “I really wouldn’t worry about the major structural flaw in the accounting office subfloor” 5 points
31. "Shh... my yeast is rising." 5 points
32. "Miffie gives me cookies to leak false information to the CIA and thats why hurricane katrina happened" 5 points
33. "I'm rockin like Janet Reno" 3 points
34. "Lung Butter"

Good luck!


Edit: You cannot use a phrase you yourself submitted.


Edited, Sun Mar 12 14:57:49 2006 by Kaolian

Edited, Wed Mar 15 01:18:14 2006 by Kaolian

My convo.




Yeah, I'm that good.

Edited, Sat Mar 11 22:11:07 2006 by Codyy

SHH!

How did she react?

Kao, I really wouldn’t worry about the major structural flaw in the accounting office subfloor server. It's obviously just the gerbils again.



Could you explain the instructions maybe once more?

OK. Here's the deal. You walk away from the computer and go find someone to talk to. Could be a parent or sibling, a signifigant other, a wife, co worker, person on the street, bum, hooker, police officer, i don't care. Any real person. You use one or more of the phrases from the list. Then you post here telling us all how you used the phrase, and the reaction of the other person.

So let's say "Conga explosion" was worth three points. I go up to one of my co-workers and say "hey, did you see those workers setting up that new cubicle, they were moving so fast, it was like a conga explosion in here!"

Now having done that and recieved the baffled look from said co worker, I come back here and post. If you guys buy my explanation of how I used the phrase when i post, i get three points.

That better?

A dramatic re-creation of events:


-- me, dialing parent's phone number (1 am EST)

-- answering machine picks up

-- me, redialing

-- Mom picks up and answers in a groggy voice, "Yes?"

-- me: "Hi mom"

-- Mom: "What's wrong?"

-- me: "There was just a crazy police chase tonight here in Chicago"

-- Mom: "Are you ok??!"

-- me: "Yeah, but some dude was being chased by the cops all the way from downtown to the western burbs."

-- Mom: "Oh my, are you sure you're ok?"

-- me: "Yeah mom, I'm fine. But the guy totally bit it, lost control of the car and slammed into a truck!"

-- Mom, still a little groggy: "Oh dear..."

-- me: "And that’s when the truck full of live chickens exploded!”

-- Mom: "what? chickens?"


*rustling sound*


-- Dad: "What the ****? Get the **** off the phone you ******* idiot, your mother is trying to ******* sleep. *******."


*dial tone*


Thanks Kao...

**Customer comes into store and starts talking while i run his copies
Me: crazy weather eh?
Custy: it has been kinda crazy.
Me: yeah, this weekend is nice and mild, last weekend was colder than a penguin's *********
Custy: (laugh) yeah, i guess so. It was colder than a witches tit.
Me: (laugh) i love that one.

EDIT: Overnight shift FTW!

Edited, Sun Mar 12 03:44:24 2006 by NixNot

In all honesty, I have to rule myself out of this competition.

If I made each of those statements back-to-back to my friends, it would be just another 'Nobby' conversation and they wouldn't bat an eyelid.

I’m a waiter at Red Lobster. We get annoying customers sometimes and the other day one just went over the line. Keep in mind this is a Saturday night and most of us have our hands full.

Large Texan: I want my food now dammit; I’ve been here for an hour and a half!

Me: Sir, there are other people ahead of you and our Cooks are going as fast as they can. Can I bring you some Bread Sticks?
Him: Me don’ need no stinkin’ Breads Sticks! I want my Lobster now!

Me: Bah, all right, I’ll go get you a lobster ahead of the @#$%ing clown ****’s at table 3, they are creeping me out. (I’m a Jew whom had a bad experience with Clowns when I was younger.)

Large Texan: Good, and make it snappy!


[I enter Kitchen.]

[I take a bite of bagels sitting on a shelf near the cook.]

Me: You call these bagels? (Family Guy joke)
Cook: You do better fool. Now what is it you want?

Me: The man at Table 7 is ordering his Lobster now and I’d rather avoid a scene.

Cook: Well I don’t have any now, you’ll have to go to the other customers and the annoying man will have to wait.

[I exit Kitchen into main food court]

[I sigh]

Me: Hello, have you all decided on your orders yet?

[@#$%ing clown **** hunks his horn.]

Clown: Listen, Sienfield, We all want a damn Lobster with the works. And don’t get your Jew on it.

[Other @#$%ing clown ****’s guffaw around the table.]

[I notice a Giant Pink Lobster in one of the @#$%ing clown ****’s bags and, concealed by a fake drop of my Order pad stoop down and crab it.]

[I enter Kitchen door and exit with the plate under the Giant Pink Lobster .

Me: Hello Sir, here is your order.

Large Texan: ‘Bout time!

[Proceeds to attempt to crack open the shell for 10mins]

Large Texan: What’s wrong with my Lobster!

Me: Yes, Sir, what’s wrong?

Large Texan: My Lobster is too tough I want a refund!

Me: No refunds on food, sorry.

[Large Texan leaves angry.]

-Shrug- RL Ends boring

~Blix

I don't see the phrase "I'm rockin like Janet Reno." in the list anywhere