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#1 Oct 10 2007 at 9:06 AM Rating: Excellent
Thumbelyna
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Background:

I have a friend who was dating a guy and they were madly in love and the feelings were very intense. Unfortunately, the guy lied about several critical things, which caused my friend to break things off as she believed that honesty was a cornerstone of their relationship. The guy did not take their break-up very well. So in an effort to win my friend back, he text her and the text said:

"You can spend enough time and prove anything wrong. Even gravity is just a theory and not proven. We were based on feelings...not truth".


Smiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lol

So, what are the best breakup/pickup lines you've heard/given?

I'm rolling on the floor right now from that text she got.

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#2 Oct 10 2007 at 9:12 AM Rating: Good
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
You already posted about this in Myspace, why do it here?
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#3 Oct 10 2007 at 9:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Background:

I have a friend who was dating a guy and they were madly in love and the feelings were very intense. Unfortunately, the guy lied about several critical things, which caused my friend to break things off as she believed that honesty was a cornerstone of their relationship. The guy did not take their break-up very well. So in an effort to win my friend back, he text her and the text said:

"You can spend enough time and prove anything wrong. Even gravity is just a theory and not proven. We were based on feelings...not truth".


Smiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lolSmiley: lol

So, what are the best breakup/pickup lines you've heard/given?

I'm rolling on the floor right now from that text she got.



Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.
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#4 Oct 10 2007 at 9:17 AM Rating: Good
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Blacktuesday wrote:
Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


Who's gettin up in my RAEP Kool-Aid? Smiley: mad
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#5 Oct 10 2007 at 9:18 AM Rating: Good
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My parents got divorced because my mom told my dad that in order for her to know that she loves my dad she had to fly to Kentucky to meet some guy.

What do I win?
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#6 Oct 10 2007 at 9:18 AM Rating: Decent
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Man to Woman after a breakup:

Hey, I just wanted to set up a time when I can come and pick up that vibrator I bought last week.
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#7 Oct 10 2007 at 9:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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LobsterJohnson the Sly wrote:
My parents got divorced because my mom told my dad that in order for her to know that she loves my dad she had to fly to Kentucky to meet some guy.

What do I win?


A lifetime of overeating and therapy.
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#8 Oct 10 2007 at 9:19 AM Rating: Good
Thumbelyna
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Best line that I ever got when my old high school boyfriend broke up with me to go with another girl:

"If you want to be with me, you have to be with her too."

I just remembered that.

Smiley: laugh
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#9 Oct 10 2007 at 9:20 AM Rating: Good
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Best line that I ever got when my old high school boyfriend broke up with me to go with another girl:

"If you want to be with me, you have to be with her too."

I just remembered that.

Smiley: laugh


I've gotten that more times than i can remember Smiley: laugh though it was usually a bit more drawn out than that.

Yeah, i dated a lot of jerks.
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#10 Oct 10 2007 at 9:21 AM Rating: Decent
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In before: It's not you it's me.
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#11 Oct 10 2007 at 9:21 AM Rating: Good
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Kaain the Irrelevant wrote:
Blacktuesday wrote:
Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


Who's gettin up in my RAEP Kool-Aid? Smiley: mad


I invented Rape Kool-Aid.
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#12 Oct 10 2007 at 9:22 AM Rating: Decent
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
I invented Rape Kool-Aid.


Is that the red kind?
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#13 Oct 10 2007 at 9:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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I was working on this girl one night in a bar. She was kind of into me but I hadn't closed the deal yet. When at some point she interrupted me, and said "Fine, let me ask you this: If that guy--" (pointing to the biggest steroid abuser in the bar) "came up at started hitting on me, and we were dating and you stepped in to protect me, and he punched you in the face, what would you do?"

I looked at the dude, looked back at her, and replied "Cry."

Ten minutes later, after she stopped laughing, I got her number.
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#14 Oct 10 2007 at 9:23 AM Rating: Good
Thumbelyna
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Yodabunny wrote:
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
I invented Rape Kool-Aid.


Is that the red kind?


Of course. Hides the blood if you leave a mark by accident.
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#15 Oct 10 2007 at 9:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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My personal favorite one I've gotten in real life was something like:

"Hey, I'm already drunk, but you can get drunk too then we can go to my moms house and **** like crazy."

True story.
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#16 Oct 10 2007 at 9:25 AM Rating: Good
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Blacktuesday wrote:
Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


You promised not to show that to anyone! Smiley: motz

Seriously though, who sent you that? Smiley: laugh
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#17 Oct 10 2007 at 9:27 AM Rating: Good
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A friend of mine had a girl tell him that god didn't want them to be together any longer.
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#18 Oct 10 2007 at 9:27 AM Rating: Decent
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Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Blacktuesday wrote:
Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


You promised not to show that to anyone! Smiley: motz

Seriously though, who sent you that? Smiley: laugh


My guess would be someone who learned about sex thru National Geopgraphic and not Playboy.
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#19 Oct 10 2007 at 9:28 AM Rating: Decent
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Kaain the Irrelevant wrote:
Who's gettin up in my RAEP Kool-Aid? Smiley: mad


I invented Rape Kool-Aid.


So it was you.

I threatened her first Smiley: bah
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#20 Oct 10 2007 at 9:29 AM Rating: Good
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Senjiow the Mundane wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Blacktuesday wrote:
Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


You promised not to show that to anyone! Smiley: motz

Seriously though, who sent you that? Smiley: laugh


My guess would be someone who learned about sex thru National Geopgraphic and not Playboy.


Hustler, actually.
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#21 Oct 10 2007 at 9:31 AM Rating: Decent
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Senjiow the Mundane wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Blacktuesday wrote:
Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


You promised not to show that to anyone! Smiley: motz

Seriously though, who sent you that? Smiley: laugh


My guess would be someone who learned about sex thru National Geopgraphic and not Playboy.


Hustler, actually.


Mine was Penthouse, didn't see a Hustler till I was old enough to buy own myself.
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#22 Oct 10 2007 at 9:31 AM Rating: Good
Kakar
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Senjiow the Mundane wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Blacktuesday wrote:
Easy, just a sec.

Quote:
I sent you a PM when I was drunk that said I'd rape you. I just want you to know, it's okay that I said that because I was drunk and that excuses everything.

Also, your avatar doesn't do much for me, but your tits and *** give me an erection, and I would use it to plant my seed deep within your dark, moist, earthy and fertile womb.


I thought that was pretty good. Showed it to my brother who proceeded to laugh for about 30 mins.


You promised not to show that to anyone! Smiley: motz

Seriously though, who sent you that? Smiley: laugh


My guess would be someone who learned about sex thru National Geopgraphic and not Playboy.


Hustler, actually.


As soon as I read that, I knew it was BT.
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#23 Oct 10 2007 at 9:31 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Best line ever

You have really nice legs.











What time do they open?
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#24 Oct 10 2007 at 9:32 AM Rating: Good
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Kaain the Irrelevant wrote:
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Kaain the Irrelevant wrote:
Who's gettin up in my RAEP Kool-Aid? Smiley: mad


I invented Rape Kool-Aid.


So it was you.

I threatened her first Smiley: bah


Yeah, but I threatened her totally unexpectedly, like, even to me.

I just woke up the day after getting drunk at home and, like I so often do in that situation, decided to check who I had sent PMs to the night before. I saw I had sent one to her, and BAM! Unprovoked rape threat.

I sent one to Samira, too, wherein I quoted old Michael Jackson lyrics.

I wanna rock witchoo, alll night!
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#25 Oct 10 2007 at 9:32 AM Rating: Decent
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back in high school I went up to a girl that I had flirted with a little back and forth and said 'Nice Shoes, Want to Fuck" and it actually worked... of course she was a *****... so I had that going in my favor...

yeah, that'd be want, not what...

Edited, Oct 10th 2007 12:35pm by TidusBlue
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#26 Oct 10 2007 at 9:34 AM Rating: Good
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Kakar, Assassin Reject wrote:
As soon as I read that, I knew it was BT.


I thought BT, then decided there wasn't enough descriptive words involved. He must've wrote that as soon as he woke up.
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