One time, I wrecked a car while I was drunk. Okay, three times I've done that, but let's talk about the second time.
My buddy was in prison at the time, so I was fUcking his little sister. We were getting drunk pretty much all day once, and decided to take a trip into the park. I was doing mid-sixties on twisting gravel roads where the limit was suppsoed to be ten miles per hour. We came to the parking area, and I stomped on the brake.
But I didn't. I stomped on the accelerator, instead. We hit a beam of wood that was suppsoed to keep cars from plowing into the ditch. It kicked the front end high into the air, and we slammed into the far side of the ditch like a spear. My pal's little sis and her friend were both sitting in the front passenger seat, sans seat belt, and I wasn't wearing mine, either. I banged against the steering wheel and broke my collar bone. They both did faceplants into the windshield.
Immediately, I threw the car in park and turned off the ignition, then I hopped out of the smoldering wreckage. I couldn't breathe. The girls emerged a moment later. The one girl was missing a couple teeth, and my friend's sister had an obviously broken nose. They were crying.
"We need to move, now," I barked at them and proceeeded to make my way into the park. My plan was to get to a pay phone and call some friends to help me push the car out of the ditch so I could abandon it somewhere less conspicuous. They didn't move; they just stood there crying.
"Cry while you walk!" I ordered, and they obeyed. We hiked through the park, to a service station and I made the call. This was before everyone had a cell phone.
My buddies came and helped me push the car out of the ditch, and I somehow drove it about half a mile, out of the park, and left it in front of someone's house. Pretty much as soon as I parked it, the front driver's side tire exploded. I laughed. At least I wasn't going to get ticketed.
Then I hopped in my friend's car and we dropped the girls off. There was one really angry mother. I told her to fUck off. My pal and I went to the casino and got drunker.
The next day I went to the hospital. Afterward, I called a junk yard and they gave me fifty bucks for my car as they towed it away.
Fin.