Oh my god, finally have internet again!
Received the tracking number from my ISP today, and it showed that they had attempted to deliver my modem on the 18th. I've been checking my mail ferociously for the last week, and there was no "please collect at the post office" slip in it, so I went to the office, and they agreed to hand it over after seeing some outdated identification.
Oh, yeah, and I bought an apartment... so that's cool, too.