I mean, the blunt point of the matter is that marriage benefits directly create a situation in which gay couples are unconstitutionally discriminated with, and more and more Republican-controlled courts are coming to that conclusion. Because it's just a matter of logic.
Those judges may think that being gay is gross and wrong, but at the end of the day something's gotta give. You can either remove those benefits, and force a social argument for marriage (which is much less likely to get passed up the courts), or you can accept that it's a matter of nondiscrimination.
Obviously, I'm happier about cases where we have legislatures voluntarily enacting change. But I'll settle for court orders.
I care more about getting protection bills through in places like TN, where kids are killing themselves at an alarming rate. Oh, a national nondiscrimination bill making it illegal to, say, get fired for being gay would be nice, too. Most of our states still don't have one of those.