Now mind you, this isn't about looks alone. Imagine yourself at a bar, having to approach her, make conversation, and work out a strategy to get in her pants, same as any other girl. How many beers would it take?
Feel free to use other women as reference ("Salma Hayek I'd do sober! Maybe one beer for courage."), as well as the blood-alcohol content scale ("I'd have to be at .10"). Also feel free to estimate the number of beers it make take her to get drunk enough where she may pass out and you don't have to listen to her.
Thanks to Moe for the seed that sprouted into this thread.
Edited, Mon Jan 26 21:24:30 2004 by Atomicflea
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- How many beers would it take for you to ***** Katie?
How many beers would it take for you to ***** Katie?Follow
That's the kind of dude
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
all of anheiser bush's bottled product available in the contential US.
Beer wouldn't be sufficent. I think I'd probably have to be on some sort of long psychotic break inducing LSD/DMT/Ecstacy trip where I confused her with a Bannana.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Now, in all fairness to Katie, she isn't an abnormally unattractive woman. Assuming that I was in a bar, imbibing, under the effect of loud music and an not knowing how inane her banter can be, probably not too terribly many.
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.
[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
Quote:
Now mind you, this isn't about looks alone.
Dear God. In that case, the answer is: More beers than humanly possible to drink.
Muted
Quote:
where I confused her with a Bannana.
Are you implying that, if you had enough beer in you, you'd ***** a banana?
That's the kind of dude
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
Wow - you crazy lesbians are frisky today. Angua, I'll be needing a detailed report on this allegation, with pictures included. Thanks!
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Hmm. Reminds me. It's been awhile since my last lesbian question.
Ok, both Merri and Angua can feel free to answer this one.
For ***, is it usually oral, or toys? (or fruit?)
And which of you is the frisky one that usually starts it?
I'm usually the one trying to get it on with Flea, but really, who could blame me?
Ok, both Merri and Angua can feel free to answer this one.
For ***, is it usually oral, or toys? (or fruit?)
And which of you is the frisky one that usually starts it?
I'm usually the one trying to get it on with Flea, but really, who could blame me?
Muted
From today's newspaper:
Gustav Joos (Belgian cardinal) quoted as saying, "Of all those who say they are lesbian or gay, at most 5-10% are effectively lesbian or gay. All the rest are simply sexual perverts. Don't hesitate to write that down. I demand you write it down."
Who knew?
Gustav Joos (Belgian cardinal) quoted as saying, "Of all those who say they are lesbian or gay, at most 5-10% are effectively lesbian or gay. All the rest are simply sexual perverts. Don't hesitate to write that down. I demand you write it down."
Who knew?
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Quote:
Don't hesitate to write that down. I demand you write it down."
Very Dean-esque. By acting like a loon, he has effectively rendered anything that comes out of his mouth worthless.
That's the kind of dude
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
I think they fall under both categories.
What percentage are lesbian sexual perverts?
What percentage are lesbian sexual perverts?
Muted
Well, let's not forget that this guy probably just pulled his d*nk out of a 12 year old boy before giving the interview.
Now all you Catholics can just suck it up. We all get bad publicity from time to time...now is your time to shine.
Now all you Catholics can just suck it up. We all get bad publicity from time to time...now is your time to shine.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Quote:
Now all you Catholics can just suck it up. We all get bad publicity from time to time...now is your time to shine.
/puts on tokenpapist hat
It's all good. Guilt is like our Catholic Amex. We don't leave home without it.
That's the kind of dude
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped
if you're lookin', ho
Unbelievable! The real question is, "How many beers would KATIE have to have before she got it on with someone from this board?"
Hmmm?
/em puts THAT in his pipe and smokes it!
Hmmm?
/em puts THAT in his pipe and smokes it!
She probably drinks moonshine anyway...
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Ha, better yet, how many beers would we have to give to Katie to make her stop trying to get it on with one of us.
Muted
Do you like moonshine?
Psst...Make him take one for the team...
Edited, Thu Jan 22 15:23:56 2004 by Tare
Psst...Make him take one for the team...
Edited, Thu Jan 22 15:23:56 2004 by Tare
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
I think what he was saying is he wouldn't need any beer.
He's a trooper!
He's a trooper!
Muted
Here's my old "Bar Rules" on this:
If she's warm = 1 beer
Everything else = 6 pack
If she's warm = 1 beer
Everything else = 6 pack
The voice of reason.
I'm not one to pick up girls, or even try to, inebriated or otherwise, in bars. I can't even make conversation with girls I'm friends with. Hell, I haven't even been to a bar (other than my sister's wedding reception) in about a year. I guess I'm the epitome of antisocial reclusiveness. Even if Katie presented herself, I don't think I could come up with anything more inventive than just hopping on. (and likely get kicked off)
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Ok then, how many joints would it take for you to ***** Katie?
Muted
Quote:
If you'd like tips on bananna @#%^ing, send your inqueries to Angua, an expert on the matter.
It appears that I made two mistakes upon leaving the house today. a) assuming your silly *** was going to work and b) not locking you in the closet like usual.
Quote:
"Of all those who say they are lesbian or gay, at most 5-10% are effectively lesbian or gay. All the rest are simply sexual perverts.
Effectively? And how does one go about being effective in such matters? yes, I'm aware of what this asshat meant. kkthnx.
I was wondering the same thing, Angua. How would you rate your own effectiveness anyway? Number of anti-gay rallies broken up? Amount of new lesbians brought into the fold? Ha ha ha...
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
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