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#427 Jun 13 2018 at 7:18 PM Rating: Decent
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I'll second the idea about food pantry/whatevers. Local soup kitchens (do they still call them that) are always willing to take any volunteer that comes their way, is a great way to socialize with other people, and no one's going to judge you. If you're not so happy with the idea of interacting with random people, working behind the scenes at a food bank type location is still volunteering, but is more about showing up at a warehouse somewhere and unpacking large boxes of bulk foods and then repacking them into smaller packages with a set variety of foods inside (I suppose this depends on the specifics of the work, but this is what I did many years ago).

These are pretty easy volunteer spots to get, wont require any time consuming checks, and they're always willing to take more people. Often, when working in the volunteer food industry (is that an industry?), part of the deal is that you can get a portion of the food box/whatever as "payment" for your help. So X hours of helping load boxes of food for others, and you get a box of food for your own household (and if working at a place that serves food, you're typically going to be allowed to eat the same meal yourself while there if you wish). So not a job that's putting money in your pocket, but you get to help others, burn some time, may interact with others as desired, and may help offset some of your own living expenses as well.

There are a ton of options out there, if you want.
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#428 Jun 15 2018 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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I talked to my wife about it. She insists that my duty is here, at home-- and not using up fuel driving around town to work without compensation.

She is right, though. If I am not here to clean constantly our living space quickly degrades into abject squalor-- between the cats ******* and ******** everywhere because they have somehow forgotten to use the litter box, and her and the children leaving their trash everywhere. Because of her knee injury, she cannot carry trash down the stairs or groceries back up again. Because she works all the time and makes all the money, I am expected to take care of these things.

I really hate this place. It's like I want to go home, but I am home. "If you could just get a job we could afford to live someplace else" she says. If I could just win the lottery. If I could just have an anthropomorphic unicorn deliver a suitcase filled millions of dollars even seems more likely. But what difference would "someplace else" really make?

I don't understand. It's like all around me is a vast empty wasteland that goes on forever. I can choose to walk in either direction and find more of the same until I collapse or stand still and do nothing.
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#429 Jun 15 2018 at 11:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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While your wife is welcome to have an opinion on whether or not you volunteer your time, she doesn't really get a vote.
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#430 Jun 15 2018 at 12:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kill the cat, crucify on kids' door, explain they're next if they don't help around the house.

Edited, Jun 15th 2018 2:24pm by lolgaxe
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#431 Jun 15 2018 at 4:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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Seriously. The kids should be doing household chores and the cats are expendable if they are using the house as their litter box.

Non-profit work can be a good networking tool to finding paying work. Most people working for free in Place A are already employed at Place B and can let you know about opportunities and even assist you if they know "This guy is a good worker, is a good guy helping the [whoever] and needs a job".
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#432 Jun 29 2018 at 4:08 PM Rating: Good
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When I was maybe eight or nine years old, I remember watching a cartoon on TV called "Doug." I watched a lot of TV then. I hated that show with a burning passion, but I watched it because it was on and back then we didn't really have a lot of other choices.

I hated it because the series protagonist, Doug Funny, seemed to represent everything I hated about myself made manifest as some pretentious animated dweeb. I frequently felt embarrassed on his behalf, being completely helpless as he repeatedly made a total fool of himself in the eyes of God and everyone, it being a program potentially viewed by hundreds of thousands of people at any given moment. I hated all of the characters on the show for one reason or another. Just looking at all their stupid faces, with their stupid names like "Dinkledorf" or "Skeeter", filled me with rage. They all annoyed me, and I often fantasized about entering the world of the cartoon and murdering all of them in progressively hideous ways.

I wake up today feeling like I have arrived in Dorkington (or whatever it was). What I once felt about a cartoon show is how I now feel about the real world. I can't look anywhere without seeing someone or something that causes me to cringe. All people. All races. All backgrounds. Left and Right. Everyone is an idiot. Everyone deserves to die. Even me, especially me. Even you, whoever bothers to read what I say.

I think about everything being set to fire. I imagine every building burning with people trapped inside, exterminated. I imagine massive floods and tsunamis that wipe away countless people, pulling them under the current and drowning them.

--but then I stop. Someone always appears in my mind's eye to make it stop. The young ones. I could never kill a child. They are saving the world inside my mind from Armageddon, like hostages. They are a living shield for everyone else. --even though they all grow up to be the same ugly, brutish monsters. Mindless consumers. Slaves. Maybe they won't this time? Maybe this time they will grow up without polluted minds, and have enlightened ones instead. I think that is a strong possibility.
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#433 Jul 11 2018 at 9:47 PM Rating: Good
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I think I will use my new Minecraft server to start a cult. Either that or I'll escape into the woods somewhere and start a new life as a transient. Driving on the highway today has made me realize just how much unused land there is all over the place. I even saw a bear. Maybe there is a place for me out there among the trees and the animals.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#434 Jul 12 2018 at 2:25 AM Rating: Good
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OH, a hermit. That's a job I could work 6 days a week.
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#435 Jul 12 2018 at 6:48 AM Rating: Excellent
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May as well monetize it and become a fire watcher.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#436 Jul 12 2018 at 1:06 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
I even saw a bear. Maybe there is a place for me out there among the trees and the animals.
I saw a bear over the weekend too, but no trees or animals.
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#437 Jul 12 2018 at 1:49 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
I even saw a bear. Maybe there is a place for me out there among the trees and the animals.
I saw a bear over the weekend too, but no trees or animals.
Did you go find Nixnot and visit a few bars?
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#438 Jul 14 2018 at 9:59 AM Rating: Good
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Rejection. That is the reoccurring theme of all things. Rejection from love interests. Rejection from job and financial prospects. Rejection from social connections. Rejection. That is the word that ties all of these things together that I have been missing.

Acceptance. This is the reoccurring solution I read about everywhere. Accept your cold and indifferent wife. Accept your shitty job at Walmart. Accept your state of aloneness.

The frustration is maddening. It is like having your head held under water and being allowed just enough air to retain consciousness as your face is pushed into it again and again and again forever.

"Get back up and turn it into something positive" says everything. "Learn to enjoy it" says everything. What I see is "lower the bar." I am to lower my standards and expectations. Learn to eat shit and like it, because that's all there is and ever will be.

"Sour grapes" they all say while standing over me and stuffing their faces with said grapes, making no attempt to disguise how orgasmically delicious they are. "Silly Rabbit." Here is your bag of carrots. Eat up.

I have learned, though-- to some extent. I haven't killed myself or anyone else. It is like a balancing act. Whenever it gets to the point where I feel like gouging my eyes out and cutting my throat or jumping in front of a semi truck, I accept a little bit more so that things can tilt back to the center, and I survive.

But this little trick I have been doing it starting to decay. "Get a job! Hurrr!" says everyone and everything. "Get a job! Baahaaah, baaaahhah" bleat the sheep. No. I can't go back to that like I used to. At this point, I would MUCH rather gouge my eyes out and cut my throat, or jump in front of a semi truck than work for Walmart for even one more day.

So in a sense, that whole leg of the chair has gone. There are now only three, and they're all pretty rickety. But the balancing act continues.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#439 Jul 16 2018 at 10:07 PM Rating: Good
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I finally watched Game of Thrones. All of it. It was surprisingly good, although season 7 felt really sloppy and rushed compared to previous seasons. Still good though.

Arya is my favorite. I'm so glad she didn't die. Same for Ser Jorah and Brienne of Tarth who I feel I identify a lot with. I was really expecting a lot more characters to die given the series' reputation. I'll probably read the books soon as well.

I have never seen anything that had SO MANY likable and memorable characters. I feel like because the characters were all so good, I could keep full attention on everything that was going on and everything that was said. All of the trivia questions I have seen related to it all make perfect sense to me now.

Edited, Jul 17th 2018 4:09am by Kuwoobie
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

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