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#27 Jan 11 2015 at 7:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
As for the original question, there's no answer more nuanced than "because guys like putting their dicks in as many things as possible".
#28 Jan 12 2015 at 12:24 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
As for the original question, there's no answer more nuanced than "because guys like putting their dicks in things"
Sexism! Literal objectification!
#29 Jan 12 2015 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
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Where did your therapist get her degree? A box of Cracker Jacks?

Edited, Jan 12th 2015 10:05am by lolgaxe
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#30 Jan 12 2015 at 9:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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Invite the therapist to join in.
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#31 Jan 12 2015 at 9:46 AM Rating: Good
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Ask the therapist for a monitored session with her and her SO.
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#32 Jan 12 2015 at 12:27 PM Rating: Good
Chiming in with another anecdote that all my friends who have tried polyamory have ended up with hurt feelings. (Despite this, one of them continues to go for it. She's under this idea that she has too much love for one person. I counter with you know you've met the right person when they're able to accept all your love, but whatever.)

I think this veers into dangerous territory because it's a mutual acquaintance. If it was a more generic "let's bring in a random strange woman that we both agree would be fun to play with" then you could chalk it up to being curious about the experience.

If there is a specific third person he wants to bring in, that rings a ton of alarm bells to me.
#33 Jan 12 2015 at 12:39 PM Rating: Decent
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Ugh, site ate my post.

Simple version.

You should not be doing this. Threesomes work under the following conditions:

1. Just sex, no relationship with third party.
2. You are comfortable in your relationship (both parties)
3. You have good communication with your SO.
4. You do not have trust or jealousy issues (Do you find your self wanting to check his text messages? Even if you don't actually do it)
5. Ground rules are set: No intimate contact, verbal or physical without the other party being involved, if one party says stop everything stops. Immediately.

You are violating at least 3 of these.
#34 Jan 12 2015 at 12:44 PM Rating: Decent
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On the specific person thing.

It's likely just fun for him and he figures because you are both comfortable with this person it'll be an easier sell. Still though, alarm bells etc if he likes her and things aren't solid in your relationship.
#35 Jan 13 2015 at 2:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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Update: I threw down the gauntlet. I told him the answer was no, end of story, and if he wanted to have sex with her then he could take his things and go.
I wanted to try to work on my hang-up about this because I don't like to hate things. I don't like to have such negative emotions about things because I don't like negativity in any form. I thought this would be something him and I could work on together but his enthusiasm kinda killed it for me.
He said he loves me and all the things he is curious about, he wants to experience them with me or they're not worth it. It's not happening. He hasn't brought it up since last night when we talked and today has been a good day. He also gave me more of an answer on why he wants to do it. It is curiosity but he figured since it was someone we both knew and got along with, it would be easier for me to be comfortable in the situation. So yeah, crisis adverted.
#36 Jan 13 2015 at 3:16 AM Rating: Excellent
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Seems like everything worked out for you.

And I think it's okay to have a negative attitude towards things that might cause you harm. Smiley: nod
#37 Jan 13 2015 at 7:06 AM Rating: Good
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I've seen this scenario work out in pretty much the full spectrum of spectacularly well to spectacularly badly. The determining factor typically ends up being communication, and motivation of the participants.
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#38 Jan 13 2015 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
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You're a terrible girlfriend. I would've left you.
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