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guys cheat, duh, but married?!?Follow
9 posts
ok i need a bit of outside opinion. i know guys rule their live by their penises but once they say i do shouldnt that stop? i have been married for one year, and one thing my husband cant seem to realize is that when he lies i ALWAYS find out. he has cheated 3 times since weve been married. i also found out he cheated 2 days before the wedding(no, not at his bach. party). 6 months into out total 5 year relationship he cheated with an ex. i forgave and forgot because i am a firm believer in that people can change. im at a loss, because it seems like my husband would rather be out with some bimbo than with his wife. i know i am not unattractive and i also know that a lot of people really like my personality. the problem is im not even a wet hole to my own husband. i guess what im asking is what anyone else would do in this situation.
Your husband cheats because he knows you'll let him get away with it ,which you made obvious in you post. Sorry but you should have told him to take a hike after the first time. You should never start a marriage thinking you can change the other person. If the person you want to marry has things about themself that you don't like ,you should either learn to live with those things or seriously rethink your entire relationship.
"I was talkin to my girlfriend,
told her I was stressed,I said "im goin' off the deep end" she said "God for once,give it a rest"
We're all waiting in the dugout , thinkin we should pitch. How you gonna throw a shut-out ,when all you do is ***** "
Todd Snider
told her I was stressed,I said "im goin' off the deep end" she said "God for once,give it a rest"
We're all waiting in the dugout , thinkin we should pitch. How you gonna throw a shut-out ,when all you do is ***** "
Todd Snider
Get a fuc[/b]king divorce. If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you three, count em, three times. I've been with my GIRLFRIEND for three years and I've never cheated on her. Hey, and we're not even married. Imagine that.
You got married too early. You fuc[b]ked up and picked a loser. Good job. Tell him to take a hike. You trusted him and he shat on you.
You got married too early. You fuc[b]ked up and picked a loser. Good job. Tell him to take a hike. You trusted him and he shat on you.
My wife and I have been together for 12 years. I've never cheated on her. I never expect to. Your man is a pig. Rid yourself of him. You'll be much happier in the long run.
I'll try and say this as nicely as a possible... YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE MORON! A person who stays with their partner after they have been cheated on is an absolute fool. But this has happened to you so many times that you have no right to sit there and complain. It is beyond comprehension why a person would sit there and take the same abuse over and over again.
NEWS FLASH SWEETHEART: He ain't gonna stop.
Move on... or forever be interned in the Loser Hall of Fame.
Just sayin.
NEWS FLASH SWEETHEART: He ain't gonna stop.
Move on... or forever be interned in the Loser Hall of Fame.
Just sayin.
Ya know, in all fairness, I can understand this a little bit. If he cheated once, that's fine, work it out and move on. Twice, definately time to reevaluate your relationship. Thrice, get the **** outta dodge. He's not going to change, and you're ******* stupid to have put up with it for what is now the 3rd time. Move on, dump his ***, find someone better though I know you won't.
I totally realize that a response is precisely what this sock/troll/****** wanted, and in doing so I've fed it, nevertheless...here I am.
Edited, Mon Jun 6 02:01:59 2005 by Kastigir
I totally realize that a response is precisely what this sock/troll/****** wanted, and in doing so I've fed it, nevertheless...here I am.
Edited, Mon Jun 6 02:01:59 2005 by Kastigir
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome. ~River Tam
Sedao
Sedao
He swore he wouldn't tell you about us!
Muted
Become swingers and you cheat too. If you love each other, *** is irrelevant. Wear condoms and enjoy. Monogomy is overrated and unnatural, even when married :) Down with the normal social conventions!!!!!
Pessimists are sometimes surprised but rarely disappointed, optimists are rarely surprised but often disappointed.
This is a stupid thread, and none of us should waste our time responding, but I feel like I just have to say this. If you take the mentality that:
Guess what? You're inviting yourself to get cheated on. That's a stupid blanket statement, the same as if I said women only care about money or women don't actually like *** etc. If you just assume that guys "rule their live by their penises", then 9 times out of 10, that's what you're going to get, and it won't be anybody's fault but your own.
Also, "i forgave and forgot because i am a firm believer in that people can change" is total bullsh[b][/b]it. Yes, they can change, but only if they want to, and only they can change themselves. You aren't going to change crap, and if they tell you they're going to change, there's a very good chance that they're lying out their ***. The only way to get the person you want is to find the person you want, not to mold them out of an existing person.
sihlun wrote:
guys cheat, duh, but married?!? ... i know guys rule their live by their penises
Guess what? You're inviting yourself to get cheated on. That's a stupid blanket statement, the same as if I said women only care about money or women don't actually like *** etc. If you just assume that guys "rule their live by their penises", then 9 times out of 10, that's what you're going to get, and it won't be anybody's fault but your own.
Also, "i forgave and forgot because i am a firm believer in that people can change" is total bullsh[b][/b]it. Yes, they can change, but only if they want to, and only they can change themselves. You aren't going to change crap, and if they tell you they're going to change, there's a very good chance that they're lying out their ***. The only way to get the person you want is to find the person you want, not to mold them out of an existing person.
[wowsig]2232602[/wowsig]
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and i've never even thought about cheating. I'm just going to keep her as long as i can since my social skills have been ruined by ffxi.
Muted
So you wanna know what to do? If can't just leave this person, or you still want to work it out, then this is what you have to do.
Sleep with someone else.
Thats right, do it. Then make sure he finds out, and be graphic in the retelling of it to him. That is the only way to make a chronic cheater know how it feels and to show him you mean business. He is sure you won't leave him at this point, so its time to show him you wont just take it anymore. Then tell him that for every person he sleeps with, means you will sleep with two more. Nothing eats away at a guys mind like the thought of their girl with someone else. Especially when you give them details.
If this doesn't solve it, then their really is nothing else you can do and it's time to get a lawyer. Good Luck.
Sleep with someone else.
Thats right, do it. Then make sure he finds out, and be graphic in the retelling of it to him. That is the only way to make a chronic cheater know how it feels and to show him you mean business. He is sure you won't leave him at this point, so its time to show him you wont just take it anymore. Then tell him that for every person he sleeps with, means you will sleep with two more. Nothing eats away at a guys mind like the thought of their girl with someone else. Especially when you give them details.
If this doesn't solve it, then their really is nothing else you can do and it's time to get a lawyer. Good Luck.
One more thing. I don't remember who said it, but a comedian said "Men are as faithful as their options." So maybe it's time you take away his options.
Chris Rock
"I was talkin to my girlfriend,
told her I was stressed,I said "im goin' off the deep end" she said "God for once,give it a rest"
We're all waiting in the dugout , thinkin we should pitch. How you gonna throw a shut-out ,when all you do is ***** "
Todd Snider
told her I was stressed,I said "im goin' off the deep end" she said "God for once,give it a rest"
We're all waiting in the dugout , thinkin we should pitch. How you gonna throw a shut-out ,when all you do is ***** "
Todd Snider
sihlun wrote:
ok i need a bit of outside opinion. i know guys rule their live by their penises but once they say i do shouldnt that stop? i have been married for one year, and one thing my husband cant seem to realize is that when he lies i ALWAYS find out. he has cheated 3 times since weve been married. i also found out he cheated 2 days before the wedding(no, not at his bach. party). 6 months into out total 5 year relationship he cheated with an ex. i forgave and forgot because i am a firm believer in that people can change. im at a loss, because it seems like my husband would rather be out with some bimbo than with his wife. i know i am not unattractive and i also know that a lot of people really like my personality. the problem is im not even a wet hole to my own husband. i guess what im asking is what anyone else would do in this situation.
You'd been with this guy for 4 years before you married, and he cheated twice. You still married him. Since that time he's married he's cheated on you three more times.
For a total of 5 times!
Divorce. Seriously this guy is a serial cheater and always will be. Ditch this jerk and don't ever allow a person to cheat more then once. And even the first time you should seriously step back and reevaluate things. It takes alot of trust to be rebuilt after someone cheats.
My advice: When he comes home today say nothing except this, word for word...
"Get your clothes, get your shit and get the hell out of my house. We're getting a divorce because you've cheated on me 5 times since we started dating. I don't want to hear a word out of your mouth except goodbye. Now get packing!"
Don't speak another word to him except through your divorce lawyer. Don't let him speak a word. If he refuses to pack then explain that he has 1 hour to get his things or the sherrif will remove them. Then don't leave the house if he's there. Call your lawyer before you do this so he can get things rolling. If he gets violent then call the police.
Get him out of your life. He's a loser and always will be. Your a loser if you let him cheat on you.
Jesus girl, just dump the guy already. He's cheated on you 3 times over the course of the first year you've been married? Damn that is one heartless SOB and you need to high-tail it out of there.
One thing about people changing; people don't change unless they want to change. You're not giving your husband enough incentive to change, so he's going to keep on walking all over you. Any relationship is built on trust. I know it's a cliche', but if you don't have trust in a relationship you have nothing.
I and the other posters here are pretty much in agreement, just dump the ************ (hey who knows) already.
One thing about people changing; people don't change unless they want to change. You're not giving your husband enough incentive to change, so he's going to keep on walking all over you. Any relationship is built on trust. I know it's a cliche', but if you don't have trust in a relationship you have nothing.
I and the other posters here are pretty much in agreement, just dump the ************ (hey who knows) already.
Quote:
Your man is a pig. Rid yourself of him. You'll be much happier in the long run.
agreed
try to find a nice jewish boy
End of the world-12/21/2012
Quote:
Don't speak another word to him except through your divorce lawyer. Don't let him speak a word. If he refuses to pack then explain that he has 1 hour to get his things or the sherrif will remove them. Then don't leave the house if he's there. Call your lawyer before you do this so he can get things rolling.
The sheriff will laugh at you if you follow this advice, you cannnot force a spouse out of the residence without a court order, and you can only get that if he/she abused you, even then you can be denied if it's not servere enough and the spouse has no where to go. And do not make up abuse to get a free eviction, the cops can smell that a mile away, and if they prove you lied you will be screwed totaly in the divorce and even worse it just makes it harder for real abuse victims to get believed, which is a real shame for them.
You can ask him to leave, and he might comply, even if he does, he is entitled to return at any time until the divorce is finalized or settlement agreement signed depending on the juristiction and you can't even change the locks until that time.
Yes speak to and hire a lawyer, and start the process. Then "ask" him to leave as serial cheaters never change.
©
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henry Louis Mencken
"Ha! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear." - Blackadder
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henry Louis Mencken
"Ha! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear." - Blackadder
I'm sorry, dear - but they're right. He knows you're not going to leave, so he'll never stop cheating. You married a jerk.
Your choices? Live with his cheating (and don't complain any more) or leave. That's it, pure and simple.
Oh - and if you caught him 5 times... realize that there are times when you didn't catch him (not that there's any difference between 5 and 20 in this case).
Your choices? Live with his cheating (and don't complain any more) or leave. That's it, pure and simple.
Oh - and if you caught him 5 times... realize that there are times when you didn't catch him (not that there's any difference between 5 and 20 in this case).
fhrugby wrote:
The sheriff will laugh at you if you follow this advice, you cannnot force a spouse out of the residence without a court order, and you can only get that if he/she abused you, even then you can be denied if it's not servere enough and the spouse has no where to go. And do not make up abuse to get a free eviction, the cops can smell that a mile away, and if they prove you lied you will be screwed totaly in the divorce and even worse it just makes it harder for real abuse victims to get believed, which is a real shame for them.
In a perfect world, yes. However, this isn't a perfect world, and a woman can get her boyfriend/husband thrown in jail, at least for a night or two, if he even says something vaguely threatening and the woman wants to press charges. Even if the woman lies, the guy is screwed, because the cops are obligated to assume that she's telling the truth, and there will be no investigation as the guy will probably, if he's smart, make a plea bargain (I think something like 95% of cases end in a plea bargain).
fhrugby wrote:
even then you can be denied if it's not servere enough and the spouse has no where to go
That's complete bullsh[/b]it. I don't think you understand how reactionary the justice system is towards DV crimes now. If a woman says a guy abused her, even verbally (that's assault 5, if you were curious), he's fu[b]cked, clear as day. Trust me, I know this stuff. More than I care to.
[wowsig]2232602[/wowsig]
Plain and simple:
First time: Shame on him.
Second time: Shame on you.
As everyone else has eloquently put it, if you're not happy with his behavior, you only have two choices. Live with it and accept it (which you signaled to him you have done after staying with him after the first one), or leave him. If you don't have children together, it'll be easier to just cut him out of your life.
Sometimes you need to take the candles out of the sh*t and stop calling it chocolate cake. The man in question is not cake.
First time: Shame on him.
Second time: Shame on you.
As everyone else has eloquently put it, if you're not happy with his behavior, you only have two choices. Live with it and accept it (which you signaled to him you have done after staying with him after the first one), or leave him. If you don't have children together, it'll be easier to just cut him out of your life.
Sometimes you need to take the candles out of the sh*t and stop calling it chocolate cake. The man in question is not cake.
Oh! Great reminder, Thumbelyna...
Do not - I repeat - DO NOT make the HUGE mistake of thinking that having kids will settle him down...
That will simply be cruel for your kids.
Do not - I repeat - DO NOT make the HUGE mistake of thinking that having kids will settle him down...
That will simply be cruel for your kids.
![[:motz:]](http://common.allakhazam.com/shared/smilies/motz.gif)
It will not change, you need to accept that and move on from it. You will be much happier in the long run and will probably find someone who will treat you the way you should be treated. At this point by not getting on his **** for it, you're basically telling him it's ok, because I'm not going anywhere you can do this as much as you want. My advice ditch him or **** his best friend videotape it and mail it to his work. Either way you need to end it. I've never cheated on a girlfriend in my life and never will, so as to the comment that we are ruled by our penises, please don't use your situation to badmouth the few guys like us out there. Good luck though, you will need it if you think you can change him.
Seriously, leave him. That jerk off needs to realize what he has done. Tell him to get out of your house, and to take his clothes only.
It's true. Take away his options.
That's also true.
Now for the enjoyment of my self and others
Oh my god, some guy in my university got shat on, 4 big guys held him down, and one guy squatted on him, and shat on him. Hehehe.
totant wrote:
a comedian said "Men are as faithful as their options."
It's true. Take away his options.
Jaell wrote:
NEWS FLASH SWEETHEART: He ain't gonna stop.
That's also true.
Now for the enjoyment of my self and others
FolkenCS wrote:
he shat on you.
Oh my god, some guy in my university got shat on, 4 big guys held him down, and one guy squatted on him, and shat on him. Hehehe.
Excellence?
Scholar
36 posts
There is another solution, the open relationship. I have been married 5 years and this has been the rule from the beginning. There has never been a problem with others because of it. *** and relationships are not about possession. Having a loving relationship at home is what is wanted and needed. What he does with his friends on his own time is his business. This includes having *** with them. Keep in mind there is a flip side to that coin. You can do the same. In your case this would test how much he is worth keeping anyway. If he has a problem with it he is overly possessive and probably a hypocrite.
*** and making love to your spouce are two different things. Possesion and control of another person is never a good thing. When the majority of people realize this we will be a lot happier as a society and relationships will last longer.
*** and making love to your spouce are two different things. Possesion and control of another person is never a good thing. When the majority of people realize this we will be a lot happier as a society and relationships will last longer.
Name: Jahran
Server: Unicorn
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Server: Unicorn
Jobs: 64BLM, 35WHM, 47BRD, 26PLD, 17DRK, 15BST
Nation: Bastok
Rank: 6
4 posts
what a ******* ******.
dump the guy. there are those of us that never even consider cheating.
dump the guy. there are those of us that never even consider cheating.
You should make sure he comes home to you ******** another man.
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