Goodbye Beastmasters! Addict story includedFollow

It wasn't until I found Beastmaster and BSTinc that the game became fun. So one year out of three I played was a blast. I wish I would of met Tav and the crew sooner it would of probably saved me my addiction due to all the help they aided me with... My goodbye story below.

I left Iowa back in 2004 to save my life and continue with my design career. I left all my friends and found myself in Minneapolis. Going to advertising school and freelancing at all the fancy agencys. I found myself with no time to spare, new friends that were pretty sweet, and being uncomfortable almost all the time. Life was truly exciting. The air smelled different, people dressed different, you could be who you were without having a clique of zombies point and laugh.

I got to talk to my design heroes in person, Mike Cina and Jemma Gura. It was the first time I actually got to meet someone who I hold in high regard to their work. Jemma worked as an art director at an agency downtown called Kilter and lo and behold she was looking for an entry to mid level designer. However because my first finals were the same week I simply put it off to the side. Upon my final review at school the commity was speechless of my work. They had never seen anything like it and didn't really know what to say. I argued/debated with important people from agencies who had no clue. It really wasn't about the work but how you presented it to them. By that time I was teaching history of design to the class and the teacher too. That was my first and last semester. It was a joke. And the worst I missed my chance to work with Jemma, oh well there will be another time, but then she got married and moved to Ohio.

I found out I could freelance and work half the time while making twice what I made in Iowa. What to do with that time?

I researched MMO's and found FFXI. I loved FF and online had to be sweet. I started playing and soon found myself intrigued. I replaced real friends with online ones over time and soon I found myself lost within the game. The only thing that mattered was Work and FFXI. In 2005 I got offered a job I couldn't refuse working in the video game industry as a graphic/package designer. It was if my dream came true so again Work & FFXI. Still it didn't phase me. By this time I was smoking so much weed and playing ffxi so late the mornings were a blur, then the days, then the weeks, months to years. 2 years later all my real life friends had moved on and the ingame ones were going back to their lives to move on. At this time I met one of my old buddies from HS and moved in with him and his girlfriend. I had some social interaction but it was all work and ffxi.

Finally I went out to an art gallery got super wasted and danced my *** off. Luckily a girl joined in and we became inseperable. If I was playing FFXI she would get drunk, then I would get high and play FFXI.

So now it was Work > FFXI > Girlfriend. My girlfriend at first didn't mention how she felt with me ignoring her. She assumed I would come to my senses. We moved in with each other... all was well until 2007 came.

2007 she was laid off. And I was fine with that since I could easily provide for the both of us. But with all her time searching for a job and thinking, she would be a loose cannon.

It wasn't until just the past month I came to my senses. With all the fights I realized everything I ignored and loved. When years before life was so new, uncomfortable, and exciting had now become a dull blur.

I never even saw it coming. So today after another fight with the woman it was time to move on. I deleted my Content ID's, deleted my POL account, and broke the disc. Threw all my weedies away and accessories. And I suddenly had this weight taken off my shoulders of never having to think of FFXI again.

Beastmasters still are the best! Take Care.

Good luck in real life!

It is a shame that it got to the point where you had to quit everything, but if that's what it takes, then good for you for making that step.

Ordinarily, I would say don't be a stranger. But in this case, I have to agree... you're probably a lot better off without FFXI or the message boards. Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying you're not welcome! It's just that you had two addictions at once that you were dealing with, and backsliding on one could lead to backsliding on another.

I'm not the type to go around saying "Drugs are bad, m'kay?", since I personally think everyone should make up their own minds on that (I don't do them, so I have no reference for how bad they are). But it sounds like that was a major monkey on your back that was really messing up your life. I think its best for you to be out of this game 100%, out of the drugs 100%, and get into something else that involves face-to-face interaction with people. Hopefully something you can share with your girlfriend, if she's willing to stick by you (I hope she is!)

And I agree 100% about Minneapolis. It's a great little city! I live in the South Side

Best of luck to you in whatever the future holds!

Until you have chopped up your FFXI cds into a fine powder and tried to rapidly inhale it through the nose like I did... I don't think you understand what it is to be addicted.

j/k


That was a very candid story. Hope things go well for you.


EDIT:


Hahah. I had a whole post saying essentially the same thing. This game has saved me an obscene amount of money and trouble.

Different strokes for different folks.

Edited, Jun 6th 2007 12:57am by Gutspraygore

Smoke ur ffxi discs they give u a buzz.

All the best.


Good luck with taming the real life beasts.

/bow

Though I don't know you and I'm a young BST, I can say it takes a great man to face himself. I commend you for being able to be sincere and honest with yourself. Thats the first place we avoid. No one likes hard honesty when it hits home. No one. We shrug it off, split hairs, justify. It's just our nature.

I, myself, am a full time designer. Long days. Lots of 'em. Some days I go home and my mind hurts.

I took up FFXI about 3 years ago. I've always been a sturn stickler in my resolve that my wife, family and friends comes first. It's never been a problem in the sense of addiction. If she wants me to be with her, help with something, or let her use the computer its an instant "Sure, np". That's my resolve as a husband, employee and player. Wife > Work > FFXI

I do know for some it does become addictive and it is in that knowledge that I commend you for your resolve. May you find happiness in what ever you pursue. Now get out there and create!

Edited, Apr 9th 2018 11:34pm by MarenofBastok

Sad to see a fellow Pandy BST go but I understand. Take care of yourself and get your life in order.

If you are serious about staying away then you will need to avoid the websites. that has always dragged me back. I have had to leave a few times for financial reasons and stopping by the forums has brought me back earlier than I should have.

On the other hand if you do come back and return to Pandemonium, look me up. I can hook you up with a good "Normie" shell and BSTinc again if it is still around...

You and I share the same story. Dec of 06 I retired. I deleted everything, threw away the discs, etc. My family, friends, girlfriend, and basically my entire social life wasn't getting any kind of attention. I thought I would never play again.

Now here I am. July 2007. Back in the game and planning to level a BST. That way I will be able to play for 10 min or 10 hrs without worrying about anything. Log on, play some, leave. No more end game linkshells, very few parties.

I came to the conclusion that quitting entirely wasn't the answer. I needed a break, and I needed to play a lot less.

So here I am:

Bronz of Asura
War10 Mnk10 Rdm10 Thf10

and my old character below in the sig.

Good luck!