It really depends on your level, and the ability of your tank, along with the common sense and stragegy the mages use. I also forgot to mention about melees that have abilities that draw mad aggro, yet they use it at the begginning of the fight.
Every job is guilty of messing up, its just worse when a mage does because we can't take hits at all.
Over-nuking is evil, but if you can only cast 1-3 nukes a fight, well your tank sucks.
For me its all on Party Dymanics, that is what effects my play style as Black Mage. You just have to know what your limit is, your party limit is, and your tanks limit is.
One example was last night in a party of WHM, BRD, Sami, Sami, Pld, BLM. I only needed to cast two nukes per fight, maybe three to finish her off. With two Sami's you get to Magic Burst Twice. I was MB'ing for 460-500 Damage, so I was easily doing near or at 1000 damage per fight. Thats good enough for me. Since that evil Sickle move is so deadly, most of the time I was helping heal to help the chains keep going.
In a ninja tank party, I'll usually cast spam low lvl nukes at a constant steady paste, MP Efficient, and lets me cast a quick cure when the Ninja looses his blink. And of course the MB.
In other parties, paladin, and 2 melees, its all about helping them get TP, and throwing out the skillchains and MB at the right time. You do this by using frost, and nuking at the right moments to speed things up, or not nuking so your melee's can get that last 10% TP for the next mob.
Basically all it takes is some common sense and team work. I just tend to get frustrated when people pick on the mages about this, I have seen many times where the mage had no choice but to grab aggro, because you have a Ranger using Birds eye or something in the beggining or mid fight, or a Dark putting on that Sacrifice HP for Damage early in fight, maybe a thf that is trick happy, and more concerned with damage than placing hate. Even those paladins that think just b/c they have a rdm or brd, means they don't have to rest for MP, because now they get to save TP. Maybe a bad puller that brings links every 5 fights. All these things can cause the back-lines to use there big spells to save the party. Its quite funny too, because if we do try to help, we get yelled at for over aggro, if we don't help, we are useless. Life of a mage.
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Tarutaru Black Mage (Sub rdm/whm)
BLM Wardrobe...
Elemental/HNM Outfit: Complete
Enfeeble Outfit: Complete
MAB Outfit: Incomplete
HQ Staves: Complete
Resting Gear: Incomplete
Dark Magic Outfit: Incomplete